Thursday, February 27, 2014

Period is approaching.....

Just realized my period is coming.  I started 1/30 last month.  So, March 2nd approximately this time.  I cannot let it get me.  I cannot let my mind think that I need crap when I am on my period.

Fight the urge to purge.

Who would have thought!?!?!

So, you know all those people that say if you eat right and exercise consistently that you will lose weight? Ya, they were right.  Bummer.  The last 5 days I have eaten exactly by the rules and I have exercised my butt off every evening or morning on the treadmill.  And.........I lost 3 lbs. this week!!!

2/27/2014 - 206.9 lbs.

I have a cheat meal coming up Saturday night.  Me is a bit scared.  But, Saturday breakfast and lunch I will be really behaved.  But, Saturday night, I am having chicken mole and birthday cake.  My meals are not big these days.  I eat pretty small portions.  I will behave but I will enjoy.  I am most excited about the cake we are making for Dave's birthday.  Chocolate cake with homemade chocolate buttercream frosting.  Yum!

On the treadmill I have been doing 2-2 intervals of running-walking.  I am up to 4 intervals.  I don't like to run.  I don't like my boobs bouncing all over the place.  I don't like to sweat.  I don't like it at all.  But, I do it and it paid off this week.  Dave mentioned, once the time change approaches, going out to the garage together to workout.  I am hoping to be in a better way stamina-wise by then.

Today was the first day I felt the weightloss.  As of today, I am down 20 lbs.  Kind of amazing that it has been 2 months and it has been successful.  I have never succeeded at this stuff.  I usually start out strong and give up after 3 weeks.  I usually give up when the initial weightloss  tapers off.  I can't do it this time.  I must keep doing it and knowing that this is my new way of living.

Oh, and organic protein powder bites ass.


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Still discovering things about myself everyday

My days are long.  My days are emotionally exhausting.  My days are long.  Blah, blah, blah.  Everyone has long days.  Everyone has things in their lives that deplete them daily.  I am no different.  I just can't let those things dictate the food I put in my mouth or the physical activity I perform or don't perform daily.

Exercise if the best thing for you when you are stressed or worried.  Why can I not jump on that treadmill?  What is preventing me from jumping on that treadmill and burning my fat off my body?  Why?  What am I afraid of?  Well, I hate to sweat and I hate to huff and puff.  So what?!?

Tomorrow, I vow to get my ass on that treadmill and walk/run/jog for 30 minutes.

Okay, over with that stuff.

I discovered Pichuberrys.  Oh, my, goodness.  They are amazing.  Got them free with my Vons card.  Best free fruit ever!

I weigh in in 1 day.  I am a bit nervous this week.  I feel bloaty and slow this week.

On Monday I made banana bread, whole wheat bread and granola.  I love my granola.  It tastes like oatmeal cookies. Yum.

Get your ass on that treadmill tomorrow.  You will feel so much better after you have done it.  M-W-F and a hike on the weekend.  It is very doable.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Tough week

I am tired.  I am tired of thinking about food.  I am tired of thinking about the food I can eat.  Valentine's Day was hard.  I wanted to eat a dozen cupcakes.  But, I did not.  I snuck one and I feel icky about it.  It did not taste as wonderful as I imagined.  Lesson learned.

Weigh in was a surprise = 209.9

I have not exercised in 2 weeks.  I have a horrible cough that hurts and I wheeze a bit each time.  I am exhausted each day and fall asleep by 9:30pm on the couch.  I am feeling very old this week.

I tried a new wheat bread recipe.  Blech!  It was hard as a rock and no flavor.  Back to my tried and true recipe tomorrow.  David is so supportive and eager to find things that can work on the clean eating journey.

This week I promise to do some sort of exercise each day.  Whether it is a walk outside or the treadmill.  My eating must be more consistent.  I have so many healthy choices available but nothing has tasted right or sounded good.

My calculations put me at down 17.1 lbs.  I feel good about it.  I do miss coffee and treats.  I made some paleo chocolates and they are crap!  They make my face break out and taste like sludge.

Here's to a better week with more activity, verve for my food and a better outlook.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Weigh in day!

It has been a tough week.  My husband had the flu, Nathan had the flu and Ben had a horrible cough.  All had fevers and we were up all hours, sleeping in too late and eating off schedule.  Even though......
2/6/2014 211.11
lost 2 lbs. 7 ounces.  Not bad!

I know I forgot meals/snacks and did not drink as much water as I should have.

My husband goes back to work, the boys stay home from school with me today.  I escaped for a bit last night to go grocery shopping.  It felt good to get out but I felt confused and dopey.  I had not been out of this house since Sunday evening.

I bought a bottle of Kevita last night at Vons.  I loved the flavor, slightly sweet and spicy.  I was expecting a bit more of a "cleanse".  I loved it still the same.

Onward and upward!

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Clean eating and taking care of a sick family

What day is it?  I know it is night time but other than than.....not sure.  I got sick last week.  My husband starting getting sick Saturday night.  Ben got sick Sunday morning.  Nathan got sick Monday morning.  It has been a wild ride of Gatorade, children's chewables and barf buckets.

I told my husband, "it is good we love each other so much and love being around each other so much, because we have been in sick-land going on 3 days".

I have stayed tough on my clean eating.  However, I would give my left foot to guzzle a fruit punch Gatorade.  Yet, I know after I have done that, I will feel poisoned and sad that I did it.  That seems to be the frame of mind that is keeping the crap from being consumed on a daily basis.  That is the only way I got thru Super Bowl Sunday.

Breakfast:
coconut milk, frozen berries, vanilla whey protein shake

snack:
Uncle Sams with ground flaxseed and whole milk - my favorite

lunch:
I slept thru lunch

snack:
Greek yogurt, granola and honey

dinner:
yuckiest omelet with salsa, black beans - seriously, yuckiest!

snack:
walnut and blood orange

Can I talk about how much I love blood oranges!!!!  I discovered them at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market a few weeks ago.  I have bought a 2.5lb bag each week since that day.

I weigh in on Thursday morning.  I started my period on Saturday afternoon so it has been my first week since starting that I have had that going on.  Drinking lots of water and green tea is helping with my period.  In the past, my period has been very, very heavy and I have wanted to eat everything in sight.  This time, I stayed tough.  I did make a chocolate candy recipe (clean) just in case I needed something indulgent.  I have eaten 2 pieces all week and that is all.

I am proud of myself.  I am feeling a bit bored with the eating but having my tried-and-true staples helps.  Hunker down and lets get this sick crap over with.....I have recipes to try and some shopping to do.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Super Bowl Sunday - Menu

Breakfast - single serving steel cut oats with 1/2 cup whole milk

Snack - greek yogurt with granola and honey

Lunch - slice homemade whole wheat bread, 2 slices turkey and 1/2 avocado

Snack - greek yogurt with granola and maple syrup

Snack - radishes and 4 tangerines

Dinner - turkey chili

There are (4) bowls of chili remaining.  I have tons of options for the week.  The lunch I had today is my favorite.  Applegate turkey is awesome.

Remember how you are feeling right now.  You are doing this and I am proud of you.

Started 225.7 on 1/1/2014
220.4 on 1/9
217.2 on 1/16
214.9 on 1/23
213.8 on 1/30 - started period 2/1 (makes sense now)
2/6
2/13
2/20
2/27

212.5 - One month in and I know this eating clean thing is for me.

February 2, 2014

Super Bowl Sunday.  Last year this day meant a free-for-all with my mother-in-laws homemade tacos, Spanish rice and all the junk food in sight.  Those days are gone.  Those days have been replaced with my new life.....eating clean.

Today was the first "obstacle day" since I began this new life on January 1st, 2014.  Today was the first time I was around the bad stuff with people who ate a lot of the bad stuff.  Don't get me wrong, the bad stuff is fun and yummy sometimes.  However, I have learned something very important about myself in the past 33 days.  I can't do just a little bit of the bad and yummy stuff.  If I have one potato chip with onion dip, then I might as well have a bowl of chips with a side bowl of onion dip.

My husband, whom I love with every morsel of my being, is a bit like me.  He has been eating very carefully and exercising very diligently for almost 2 1/2 years.  He had learned all the stuff about himself and his habits long before it was my turn.  He knows his downfalls and he knows the mind games we play with ourselves.  Today was a "day off" for him and he had planned on it for a week knowing he would need the bad and yummy stuff to enjoy his 2nd Christmas, Super Bowl.

My boys, bless their sweet bad and yummy loving selves, love going to their Nana and Papa's house as they know it means lots of bad and yummy.  13 and 9 and not at all caring about what they eat....as young boys should.

I prepared for my day with volunteering to make an eating clean turkey chili recipe.  I figured if I made it and I was the only one to eat it, oh well, it helped me and I looked good in the eyes of my in-laws.  I prepared fresh vegies and fruits and made a homemade eating clean banana bread last night.  I made myself a batch of green tea and took pistachio nuts in case I needed something else. It was also a birthday celebration day so cake and ice cream were going to be in the mix.

I did really well!  I did amazingly well!!  I never considered digging into the bag of Ruffles and plunging into the onion dip.  I saw the brownies and chocolate chip cookies and I looked away.  The Taki's looked at me and I snubbed them.  The cake and ice cream pouted as I did not care about them.  I did really well and it felt really good.

I have learned something important about myself.  I can do this eating clean thing and not defeat myself.  I can succeed at this and not look back at myself in a month and feel like a failure.  I can do this because I never, ever want to return to my old ways.  I am finally clean from head to toe.  I only have clean in my pantry, fridge and drawers.  I have taken so much time and effort to get to this point.  I do not want to dirty myself by taking steps backward.  I am a clean slate and all of my old transgressions are not visible.  I feel good.  I can see where I was and I can see that I was defeated by food.  I can see where I want to be and I am excited

I want to blog this stuff so that I can see my progress.  This is not for anyone else but me.  The new me will want to see how this all began.